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All phone conversations with my friends end with this.

Book Recommendations -- Humour and Satire Novels To Read

No seeya or later, just oka-ba. Example: Darlene is one heinous bitch on wheels. This pie is heaven on wheels. Comes from bowling, where a turkey is three strikes in a row. A: Oh, one shy of a turkey. Example: when asked how long my cooking spoon was, i had to outsert my mind from the gutter to give a non-sexual answer. Example: How the atom can be split using a toaster and a household drill? Example: We pacified the landing zone and brought the choppers in. Can you believe he found a parking spot right in front of the store during the Christmas holidays?

Kim: Pass me an oar. Patridiot: A person who rabidly patriotic to the point of idiocy. Used to describe the onset of gastrointestinal discomfort immediately following the consumption of a large burrito. Usually used after a trip to the San Francisco Mission District. Example: The pedophobe shivered when he saw children playing outside.

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Permanti Style: Adding cole slaw and french fries to any kind of sandwich. Originating from the Permanti Bros. Yeah, look at the personalities on her. Used by the computer elite when something is too cutting edge to be understood even in their own circles.

Ray Kurzweil

Coined by the boys at maximum3d. Phantom-of-the-water-cooler: A terminated employee who insists on sneaking back into a workplace and visiting with ex-employees. Example: My boss had a strict policy on preventing Phantoms-of-the water-coolers at my worksite. Always ends with the phrase Use only as directed. Example: That might be just what I need for my low self-esteem, said John.

Example: They Might Be Giants were late on stage in Houston, and the endless samba music was driving the crowd up the wall. Why not play some TMBG records, instead of this awful phlalamascalang? Phlophinay: A phlophinay has been commited when someone almost says or does a very stupid or ridiculous thing but catches herself before actually doing it—thus saving herself a bit of embarassment—only to immediately tell everyone about the stupid thing she almost said or did.

What a phlophinay on his part.


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Example: Phooey boo on you, duck. You stole my piece of bread. Example: Where did that come from? Example: I just got a ding in my car, you broke your nail, and Mike just got an A- instead of his usual A on his exam. I guess we should just all get together and have a pity party. Example: Hey! Stop taking the bigger pieces of pizza! Kind shorthand for I completely like and respect you, maybe even love you, but you must please leave me alone right now, no questions asked.

Especially appropriate when the other person is visiting your turf — your dorm room, office, etc. To leave immediately after hearing a pock request, without bearing the speaker any ill will. You: Um, Bill? Bill nods and walks out without feeling offended. Borrowed from computer science, similar in meaning to backlist. Example: I told Joan about the interesting factoid I heard on the radio, we got to talking about about other radio stations, then advertising, and then Gap.

Then she popped the stack and asked me about what radio program I was listening to. Features low quality music and acting and a wardrobe that is noticeably out of style. Usually seen in high school, college, and government buildings Example: I was in Consumer Economics today and we had to watch a porno on supply and demand.

Analogous to computer power users, who use keyboard commands rather than menu commands for complex and esoteric functions. Example: Jill and I had a great powerchat the other day. This word is used to bypass adult filters, which have since been configured to notice the word pr0n as well as the word porn. People still use it because it looks hip, which, translated, means it looks really stupid and uneducated. Example: How we gonna prairie dog if the get rid of the cubicles?

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Example: Sally radiated enough pregnatism to lure ten co-workers into orbit. Example: Steve had a premature enterjaculation when messaging Tonya. His message said, Thanks for the piz. A person usually female who appears completely ineffective and useless until the pressure is on and then they turn into Rambo. Privial Pursuit: The act of looking for a restroom in an unfamiliar mall, office building, etc.

Example: Would you care to join me in a privial pursuit?


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  4. Example: After much procrapstination, Chris decided it would not be necessary to take along his entire scrap metal collection. Procrastinitis: Condition in which employees or students are absent the day before an important project is due, inherently due to them putting the work off until the last possible minute. Example: The student, stricken with Procrastinitis, remained home to finish the 4 page essay the day before it was due. Also known as proof jousting. Partly derived from calendar battleships— two people exchanging salvos of dates in an attempt to agree a meeting, either business or social.

    Example: Honestly, I was playing proof battleships with Tom all day yesterday. What a waste of time. Could be considered a real date or just hanging out together, depending on how it goes. Example: God, it was so weird. I was sending psychic e-mail all day. John was known to be extremely smart, but he was always saying after an exam, I know I got an F.

    Fellow students, in a sort of John Hughes Fan Club, had green sweat shirts John must have had about forty, because he almost always wore one. Marshalltown, IA, circa Example: I know I got an F. Example: Mary is quite attractive. I may just have to put my name in. Example: After the meeting, Dave came up to me and started to say he was sorry for shafting my project and lying to the manager about it.

    Others cannot comprehend how you achieved the results. I bypassed the key start and used a screwdriver to short out the terminals on my starter. Example: After pulling three all-nighters in a row, the web designer knew that no amount of caffeine would save her from becoming qwerty. Used in contrast to e-mail. The level of intelligence of an audience or group. Typically used as a pejorative term to indicate that you will have to do material that appeals to the lowest common denominator.

    Can be used in any group situation, especially business meetings. Example: He spent his entire set doing West Virginia sister and wife jokes. That should tell you what the R. OR Speak slowly when you give your presentation—I have a bad feeling about the R.

    Valerie Sztrausberg (Author of How to understand what your cat is really saying to you)

    Radio Shack: A particularly uptight techno-dweeb. Example: She loved to play ragemeister and push his jealousy button to mess with his mind. Everyone has at least one ragemeister. Ralph: To ralph is to vomit. By uncanny concidence, pronouncing ralph in a long, drawn out fashion sounds like the sound made by someone vomiting Example: Charlie drank too many midis and is having a ralph in the garden.

    Example: When Willie puked after his 10th shot of Jim Beam, the ralphichax was unprecedented. Real People: An entertainment industry term used in casting, meaning a non-actor. Example: In this commercial we want to use real people, not actors. We want you to cast for this scene on the street—get us some real people. Example: The theory of multiple universes has been rebunked. Reginald Molehusband: Name given to a person who is determined to fit his or her car, van, or bike into an incredibly tight space.

    Characterised by an over-willingness to settle for any lifeform with two legs and a pulse.